i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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