The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
