Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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