Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
