Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
