i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
