wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
