I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
she woke up with a sticky ear
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
