dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
