Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
then he tried to convert me to islam
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
