I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
