I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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