At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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