We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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