I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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