Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
