Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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