I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
