got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
