with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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