im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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