i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
