Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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