sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You pole danced in your parka.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
