We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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