You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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