i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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