Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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