i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
