Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
