so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
