It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
