i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
