I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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