you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
