so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
