I hate all girls vehemently.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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