Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Randomize
