Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
