I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
