There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
