a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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