I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
