I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize