I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
