Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
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