Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
