3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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