First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
