i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
