YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
