I am puke
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
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I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
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Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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