How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
