I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
