so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
