Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
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He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
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Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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