I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
