You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
