I have demons in me.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
