I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
