So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
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