so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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