it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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